So close to perfect..

Happy as can be
you wonder through this town
Never smelling bad
Never wearing a frown
Always doing right
Never something wrong
You always fit in
You always belong
Dress the latest fashion
Jeans neatly pressed
Blouses are cute
Always best dressed

You speak, people listen
You say all the right words
Where you go, people follow
Not forgetting the nerds
Influence you have
You are highly respected
How could we forget
That you're gifted
Peace where you go
No drama at all
You always keep your ground
You always stand tall

When it's needed
You lend a helping hand
Making sure that it all
Works out in the end
There to be
Open ears for all
The first one to answer
When they hear a call
Make-up never runs
Because no tears are shed
In public it it seen
By emotion you aren't led

In all honesty I hate thinking
You're so close to perfect
I want to see you fight
I want to see you get ticked
I want to see you in need
I want to hear you cry
I want to see you angry
I want to hear you lie
I want to see you lose control
I want to see you trip on stage
I want to see you break down
I want to see you in complete outrage

What kind of person
Would you be
If people actually looked down at you
And did not believe
That you are almost perfect
As close as can be
What if the true you
Is what we do see
Maybe you'd find
You aren't who you thought
What if in the midst
Of a mistake you were caught

I want to be friends
With a real person
Not someone that knows it all
That knows every smidgen
Maybe something I concocted
You aren't what I thought
Either way you are here
I wish you were not
Make a mistake
Let me see a single flaw
Living so perfectly
Can't be much of a life at all.

>> I wrote this yesterday.


Obviously, I have been dealing with "perfectionism." I know, some of you may think.. "By golly woman something is always up with you." Well you are right, something IS always going on in my life whether good or bad. I am always going through something or having to deal with something. Lately, it seems I've had it all: the good, the bad, the ugly.


Anyhow, on the subject of perfection. This isn't something I recently started dealing with; It is something I have been dealing with for as long as I can remember.


Specifically, let's discuss "The Perfect Girl." Okay, I can already hear you saying that there is NO perfect girl, but let's get honest. Most people carry an image of "The Perfect Girl," in their head. Guys carry the image, jugding the women around them accordingly. And women judge themselves and other women accordingly. We'd all like to say that we completely accept who we are and who other's are, but that'd be false.

Whether you'll admit to comparing yourself or not, is your choice.. but I know for a fact I do it. I critic myself according to the image I have of "The Perfect Girl." In my poem, you should be able to point out the basic picture, of my image of "The Perfect Girl."

I hate when people tell me I am perfect just the way I am. I hate it. I honestly believe people say that to keep from hurting your feelings. Why else would they say that? Because I am sure they don't think about themselves as being perfect. Plus, I know that if they were to be in my body.. they'd dislike most/all of the things I dislike.

Maybe I'm just too open and honest about what's going on with me. Maybe I'm just too honest about the things I like and the things I hate about myself. Maybe I'm just too honest, period. Maybe I'm just too honest.

I hate that I always feel so damn imperfect. I hate it. It sucks. There are times I can stand pretty confident in who I am.. but not always. Most of the time, my issue is the fact that I'm not always accepted because of my character or looks or whatever else people don't like.. creating in me a desire to be perfect.

I've never been the girl to get lots of compliments and have people surrounding me 24/7. If people know about me, it's because I have made myself known.. not because they've saught me out. And it pisses me off!

I have acne. I'm overweight, I tend to be shy. My boobs are bigger than my head. My legs are short. I have fat cheeks. My knees are ugly. I wear glasses. I have to buy a size bigger in tops because my chest is completely too big.

I am probably the most imperfect person alive..

AND I HATE IT.

But I feel much better now.