Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Perfection

Why do I strive so hard to not make a mistake? It's so aggravating! I can't even fill out a simple application without worry of messing up! Why do I strive for perfection when I know I am human and WILL make mistakes. Yes, some people expect perfection.. but they TRULY know.. perfection isn't going to happen.

I make myself so mad!

I love writing letters and notes to friends and family, but it takes me hours.. sometimes days to get it just the right way.

Sometimes, I am so much of a perfectionist that I run people off. Maybe that's why I don't have many friends. Maybe that's why I am single.
I have had people that expected nothing less.. and that is hard. I mean, what are you suppose to do? If only I could poison those few people so they'd never make another life miserable.

I know what my perfectionism comes from.. it comes from my fear of being rejected.. but living like this is barely living at all.

I wish I could stop.
I wish I could do something for once and actually be proud of myself. Knowing that it's okay even if I did mess up.

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