2011 Cruz Family Vacation

My lanta, it's been forever since my last blog.

So much has happened in these past couple of months. But for now, I'm going to fill you in on the 2011 Cruz Family Vacation. Let me first tell you.. it's rare for us to take family vacations. Growing up, our vacations were staying at the Holiday Inn in Lubbock for a night. Simple get-aways, but wouldn't trade the memories for the world.

March 17th came.. when Ben Cox was in his ski accident. Lord knew we all wanted to be there so bad. We decided we'd plan a trip to go see him once he got home. We planned for early June, mid June, and finally the end of June. Changing each time for delayed discharge dates.

When we found out the final discharge date would be the 28th of June, we planned to go see him the 1st of July and leave on the 2nd. We wanted to give them time to somewhat adjust. As we looked at the route, Mom noticed we'd be semi-close to a few places she'd visited years ago. There were places she'd visited when she was married. Her, my dad, and I. Of course, I was far too young to remember any of it. Mom loved the thought of making new memories! Here is how our little trip turned into a vacation:

Wednesday (June 29th):

We woke up around 5:00 a.m. and hit the road around 5:30 a.m. I started off in the driver's seat with Mom in the passenger's seat and Sara and Tigo in the back. We picked up breakfast at McDonald's and headed north. We had a long drive ahead of us.. but jamming to some good tunes helped it to not be such a drag! We passed through New Mexico and finally made it to COLORADO! On our way to our KOA cabin in Canon City, we stopped at the Bishop's Castle! One of the most beautiful things I have ever seen! Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous. There were places in the castle that were flimsy... kind of scary. Mom and I only climbed to the 3rd floor.. Tigo made it to the very top. I'm not quite sure how far Sara made it, but I'm pretty sure she made it further than mom and I did! If I ever go back, which I hope I do, I will wear the right shoes and hopefully make it to the very top. It was full of stained glass. Different windows, different designs. The railing was like phenomenal.. beautiful castle. Made of bricks. It most definitely brought out the princess in me. After we spent a couple of hours soaking in as much beauty as possible, we hopped in the car and drove about 40 minutes to our KOA.

We checked in at the KOA then unpacked. We'd stayed in KOA Cabin's before.. but it'd been so long ago that I had forgotten the set up of things. Our cabin had one full size bed, a set of bunk beds, a table, a mirror, an a/c window unit, a bench, a coat hanger, and a bench on the porch. Did you notice I didn't say anything about a bathroom?? It's because we didn't have one in our cabin. Instead, they have the showers and bathrooms in a different building. From the back window, you could see the swimming pool, pet playground, and a HUGE slide. The campsite even had a go cart racing area. Our view from the front window and door were breathtaking... endless mountains.

That afternoon, we ate and swam.

Thursday (June 30th):

That morning, we met the shuttle (which was really just a KOA van). They transported us to the Royal Gorge, which stood about 10-15 miles from the campsite. I should mention that God blessed us with $5.50 coupons off each one of ours admission. We spotted the bridge. We realized how high it stood. Mom and I grabbed each other's hand and began walking. Mom and I walked hand in hand, across the bridge, as we felt it sway. Car's drove passed us, making the walk that much more bumpy. I could see the river and rocks beneath us, through the cracks of the bridge's wood planks. But, WE DID IT! We crossed the bridge. Both Mom's and my hands were sweating like crazy, but we did it! We enjoyed the zoo, a magic show, gift shops, a performance at the gazebo, funnel cakes, and a shoot out in Old Town, and some good ole ice cream! We met back with the shuttle at 1 and he took us back to the cabin.

We jumped in our bathing suits and swam to our hearts happiness. It rained while we were in the pool. Mmmmm.. the smell was amazing. The clouds and rain over the mountains were beautiful. The sounds of thunder made my heart smile. Oh how I had missed thunderstorms.

Friday (July 1st):

We loaded up the car and checked out of the cabin. Our next destination was Pikes Peak.. 14,110 ft high! The drive up to the top of the mountain was one of the L...O...N...G...E...S...T drives ever. The reason not being because we were going no faster than 20 mph.. but because for most of the time, we were driving only feet away from drop offs. AND, they were doing road construction! At that elevation, road construction is the last thing i want to see! It took us 1 - 2 hours to make it to the top. Because of the curves, there were times it looked like you were driving straight into heaven.. or straight off the mountain. The view up there was unbelievable. It was almost as if we were in an airplane.. but we weren't. We were on flat land at the top of a mountain that stood over 14,000 ft high. We were eye level with the clouds. What a beauty. When you fly over West Texas, you see circles or half circles everywhere... we saw something much different. I don't even know how to explain it.. you could see little mountains and towns.. bodies of water.. it was too much for my eyes to even absorb.. if you can even understand that.

The drive down wasn't half as bad as the drive up. At least when we were coming down, we could see where we were headed (most of the time). We were so glad to make it down.

Our next destination was HAXTUN! :D Of course... we had to drive through the hell of Denver to get there. Yes, it was really THAT bad. We arrived to the sweet little town of Haxtun and quickly found the Cox Home. (: Haxtun reminded me so much of Plainview.. but yet not. It was a quite smaller.. but it felt so welcoming. Mel greeted us inside. We walked in to the beautiful house and she led us to Ben - sleepy ol' grandpa laying in bed. We let Ben and Ken sleep while we cooked dinner. Mexican was on the menu! I chatted with Mel and helped her around the house while the rest of the gang cooked. When supper was done, we woke the boys and sat down to eat. Come to find out, this was their first home-cooked meal since the accident... I hope it was good. It was cool to see Ben handle his fork and hold his drink. He's pretty amazing. We hung out that night, simply spent some good quality time together. We were all able to get to know each other better. We headed to Sterling where we spent the night in a sweet cottage-type hotel.

Saturday (July 2nd):

Once again, we loaded up the car. Saturday's final destination was in Kansas. We went to Haxtun to hang out for a little bit and say our "see-you-laters". For lunch, Mom, Sara, and Tigo made arroz con pollo and salad! YUMM. I was busy keeping Ben, Ken, and Mel company. (: That afternoon we met one of their sweet family friends.. whom now is our friend too! Ben told me where their kid photo album's were.. we looked at pictures for a great deal of time.. Ben explained who was who. Afterwards, Krista gave us a small tour of the little Haxtun. Ben wheeled himself around with us. Mom and Mel stayed home to organized Benjamin's closet. The time for us to leave came too soon. I didn't want to go. Bad weather looked as if it were headed for us. We debated whether to stay and spend the night or to go ahead and get to Kansas. Mom and I preferred to stay and Sara and Tigo were ready to get to Kansas. Mom went ahead with Sara and Tigo's choice.. considering we already stayed longer than planned. Departure sucked. I hated leaving. Still wish I didn't have to. Mel and Krista looked for ways to get me to stay.. but it just didn't work. I just have to believe God knows best. We enjoyed pizza together and then were on our way.

I can't wait to go back. (:

Our plan was to spend the night in Garden City and then drive to Mema and Papa's Ranch in Follett, on Sunday.

We left and headed for Garden City, Kansas.. where we made reservations at a nice hotel. As we kept driving.. the weather seemed to only get worse. The sky was dark and cloudy. Lightning was striking like crazy. I was beginning to get extremely worried. SEVERE thunderstorms at night, when it's DARK, in the middle of NOWHERE = not cool.. at all. We did get to experience lightning bugs! THOUSANDS of them.. it was amazing! ..We drove about 2 and a half hours from Haxtun.. finally hitting McCook, Nebraska. We decided it'd be best to stop instead of driving 2 and a half more hours, straight into the middle of the storm. We called and cancelled our reservations in Garden City. We stopped at 2 or 3 hotels.. all full. We agreed that we'd sleep in the car if we couldn't find a room somewhere. I already had knots in my shoulders.. sleeping in the car and staying put sounded just fine to me. Our last hope was at an Economy 8 Inn. They had room for us. THE. ONLY. PLACE. in town with a room. The receptionist informed us that just South of McCook, tornadoes were being spotted. THANK GOD WE STOPPED.

Sunday (July 3rd):

We woke up Sunday morning, enjoyed some continental breakfast, and left for FOLLETT, TX. As we drove through the small towns we were going to drive through the night before, we noticed trees broken, tree limbs everywhere. It was evident we made a wise choice by staying in McCook. The drive was beautiful. It was gorgeous, seeing the rollings hills... lavished with color. The grass was green and the crops looked healthy and full. It didn't take long for us to make it to Kansas. Right before crossing into Oklahoma, we stopped in Liberal. We visited Dorothy's house from the Wizard of Oz. It wasn't all I hoped it would be.. but that's okay. It was still something to see. (: We made it to the Hoover Ranch that afternoon! Let me inform you that the Rocking H Farm is one of my homes away from home. Mema always sets our beds up just for us! It was so nice being out in the country... I love stepping out on the porch and watching the deer graze... right there on the horizon. (: We ate dinner and then played marbles (Harvest style)! Papa Kerry and Tigo were a team. Mema Janet and Sara were a team. And Mom and I were a team. Kerry and Bub won the first round. Mom and I won the 2nd round!

Monday (July 4th):

This was the last day of vacation. Tigo and Papa tended to the cattle early that morning. Us "girly girls" (as Papa calls us) relaxed. Made it back to the big world of Plainview, around 8. Before heading home, we stopped at Harvest's 4th of July PARTY!

And that was the 2011 Cruz Family Vacation.


I am sure I didn't mention all details, information, and memories.. but this is plenty to read.
I must say, this vacation was the BEST one we've EVER had. I made memories that I will remember for the rest of my life.

Patience

Patience - the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.

You know, it never fails.. there has and always is an area in my life that God wants me to grow in and apparently, He's wanting me to work on patience. I promise, lately life has been going in a direction that's unexpected. It's not a bad thing.. just unforeseen.

I am a very "need-to-know" kind of person. I like to know the who, what, when, where, and whys. Details make me happy.. and when I don't have them, I tend to feel lost and confused. But, God doesn't always want us to know everything.. He wants us to wait for Him and He'll lead us in the direction we need to go.

I tend to get so caught up with life that I skip the patience and get on with what I believe needs to happen. I grew up being a pretty patient child (except for when waiting for the bathroom, haha). Patience is a choice.. a choice that can only be made when you choose to live life and not let life live you.

God, I thank You for opening my eyes to why You have me in the place I'm in. I appreciate Your help when I feel my patience is none. I pray You continue to help me grow into the woman You have called me to be. I choose to wait on You and follow the path You lay before me. In Your Precious Name, Amen.

A Glimpse of What Could and Can Be.

God, I thank You so much. Recently You've opened my eyes to a whole new world.. a place I've been longing to experience for so long. For as long as I remember, I searched for this place.. filling it's void with things that are not of You. God, You've created in me a new heart.. a new love and I'm excited to see what's to come.

It all came and went so fast. I tell mom that You're teasing me.. but in all honesty.. I think You're trying to teach me how to take things slow. Like a new born baby learning to walk, You're teaching and leading me one step at a time. Takes lots of patience and the older I get the more I need to be reminded what patience is. You have the right time.. and the right one. All I must do is wait. Wait....and see.

Last night, I gazed in his eyes and felt at peace. I wasn't worried when or if he'd try and pull things. There was trust. ....I felt safe. His spirit is comforting and loving. Not once did I feel I had to impress. He made me feel comfortable and confident with me!

I know it may be too soon to be saying all this, but I truly believe it's an experience you want me to walk through. You know God, even if he isn't (although, so far I sure wouldn't mind if he was) "the one" I know there is a good man of You out there for me. A man whos family will accept me and greet me with open arms. A mom who will be there to talk.. a dad that will be there to laugh with.. siblings who will have my back.

You are so good. I thank You for this. I thank You for last night. I thank You for this small experience. I thank You for sending him and his family to show a piece of what You have in store for me. I thank You, Father.

Forgiveness.

Yesterday, my mom and I were heading home after a trip to WAL-MART. As my speed attempted to hit 45, I noticed a car facing me halfway in my lane. I slowly braked so I wouldn't hit them. As I did so, I noticed the nice-looking car behind my slamming on their brakes (it was obvious they were too close to me). Because traffic in the other lane was moving fast I decided it'd be best to wait until the car ahead of me got through. As I waited, the car behind began getting upset.. vigorously honking at me. I felt bad for them, but I didn't want to risk an accident with the old man in the car ahead of me. After he finally got the chance to move on through traffic, I went on my way.

Well, the car behind me still was not very happy with me. They got in the lane beside and had what looked like revengeful looks on their faces. I then noticed that the young lady driving the car goes to church with me, is in track at Wayland.. AND works at WAL-MART. After I passed the green light the upset lady cut me off and slammed on her brakes. If it weren't for my mom warning me that she thought they were going to do that, I would have been in an accident. ://

When we realized what they were doing, I moved into the turn lane and they drove on. I sat in that turn lane scared and angry with this driver I knew from church. I waited for my heart to stop racing and then drove on home.

My good mom, told me to breathe and remember.. that awful driver isn't worth it. She's not worth me being an emotional wreck. I prayed and prayed and prayed all the way home and the rest of the evening. "God please bless her.. and erase the fear and anger in my heart."

All I was doing was trying to prevent an accident.. and someone gets mad. An evil mad.. to the point they tried getting me in an accident with them. Even picturing her face now make me want to cry. I was just trying to do the right thing. It was kind of like a child getting whoopins for returning a lost wallet to it's owner.

All I can say is:
Thank You, God for saving my mom and I and everyone else on the rode from the things that could have happened. And please God, bless her. Bless her mind, soul, and body. May the bondage of unforgiveness flee and the blessing of forgiveness refuse disapearance. Bless her, God.
In Jesus' name,
Amen

"Just let Me love you"

Why do we make it so hard for others to love us? Why do we fight away something that we so passionately fight for?

Everyone wants to be loved. God created us that way. Love is a necessity in our lives, but have you ever tried loving on someone and they pushed you away? God is in that same boat on a daily basis. He's always dealing with people who are yearning for love but push His away.

We live in a world full of pain and suffering. Maybe you've been hurt and are now afraid to love. Maybe your husband or wife had an affair and ya'll have divorced.. now you sit wondering if you'll ever love again. Or maybe you've been abused all your life and know you never want to love again. Maybe you simply don't feel worthy to love or be loved.

Well here is some news! God is crying out!! He's telling you to stop worrying about loving Him at this specific moment, and let Him love you! Rest in His arms!!


"Dear Child,

I know you're hurting.

I know this life isn't where you want to be.

I know people have wronged you.

I know people have abused your love.

Don't dwell on the fact that you feel you can't love me.

I don't want anything from you.

All I am asking is that you just let me love you!"


Loving God will eventually come when you realize how much He truly loves you and how much you mean to Him. Don't feel that He's going to reject you because you don't or can't love Him right now.

Just let Him love you. It'll change you. It'll change the way you think about others. It'll change the way you think about yourself. It'll change the way you love. And it'll change the way you live.

Lord, help me to love me.

This morning, as I stood outside the shower drying off, I began to criticize myself. Instantly I felt the Lord telling me that by the end of today I need to have a list of 50 features, characteristics, or talents that I like about myself. I told myself that I thought He meant 5... but He didn't.. lol. God means what He says. So right now it is 11:24 am, here it goes:

1. I have a changeable heart and spirit.

2. I love my smile.

3. I like that my chest isn't flat.

4. I have a way with kids and babies.

5. I'm good at math.

6. I have fantastic writing skills.

7. My eye's are pretty.

I'm stuck... I'll be back later to write more.

8. I am honest.

9. I'm down to earth.

10. I like that I always have a desire to be more of a woman of God.

This really is hard. I thought I would have like 20 or 25 already.

11. I love that I'm girly but not overboard.

12. I love how romantic I am.

13. I love that although I quickly judge people, I don't start off treating them different if they aren't what I "like."

14. I like the fact that I am me.

15. I like the fact that I DON'T like "going with the flow."

16. I like that I am a helping hand.

17. My dreams and the fact that nobody is able to change them.

18. My height.

19. I like my photography and Picnik skills.

20. I love how easy it is to read me through my eyes.

21. I sincerely love that I have an intense desire and need for family.

22. I know how to cook.

23. I love hosting parties and celebrations.

24. I love celebrating and finding reasons to do so!!

One more and I'm halfway there. The last 13 came quickly.. now to think of 26 more. This actually isn't taking as long as I thought it would. I wonder if sometimes we just pick up dislike/and hatred to ourselves, from others. For instance, I hear someone say they don't like something about themselves, so then I start thinking about what I don't like about myself. And maybe instead of sitting in the fact that you dislike something, maybe we you should get up and change something. And maybe if the things you dislike are things where God has you, maybe you should pray that He give you a heart for them.

I know God has blessed me in many ways and with many things (features, characteristics, and talents).

So it's now 11:56 am for the next 26.. here we go:

25. I love my creativity.

26. I'm punctual.

27. I have a cuteness to me.

28. I love that I smile and share joy with strangers.


I'm stuck. Be back as soon as I think of something. This is hard.. it's getting me frustrated. God.. help.. please!


29. Hygiene

30. My posture

31. I love that when I'm happy I HAVE to share my joy!

32. I love my laugh of many colors.

33. I love that I have a princess heart.

34. I'm tender.

35. I pay my own bills.

36. I like that I look like my mother and father.

37. I like that I'm the oldest.

38. I am responsible.

39. I am trustworthy.

40. I can find joy in the hard times.

41. Optimistic.

42. I'm good at playing my flute.

43. I like that I'm not spoiled.

44. I like encouraging others.

45. I enjoy giving advice.

46. I am a forgiving person.

47. My ears are just the right size.

48. I love my natural hair color.

49. I love how mature I've become.

50. I like that have learned to trust.

Wow, now that was tough. It is 3:45pm.

God, I'm sorry I dishonored you by complaining about Your daughter, me. You created the person I am. Thanks for who I am. Althought I've messed myself up some, I thank You that I can easily get back on track. Help me to repect and like who I am. Help me to only learn more about myself and what You want for me in this next year.

Crowned in Victory - That's Me!

As much as I can't stand who Hannah Montana has created herself to be, I love her song: Nobody's Perfect. The song speaks a lot of truth.

Everybody make mistakes, everybody has those days. -1) Tis true, isn't it? We all make mistakes. Each and everyone of us. Whether we will fess up to it or not. We all have those day where we just can't seem to get things right. 2) Please realize that it says "those days." I translate that and believe that nobody has to live a daily life of mistakes. It should be "those days" that we mess up. When Christ dwells in us, it is very possible to go days with out doing wrong.

She then goes on to say:

Sometimes I'm in a jam, I've gotta make a plan. -To me, Miss Montana kind of formed this stanza wrong. Making a plan after the jam doesn't do much help unless the situation arises again (which does often happen). But, what helps is if you have a plan before hand, then the situation doesn't have to turn into a jam. "If you fail to plan, you plan to fail."

Further into the song she says:

When you just can't seem to win . . .figure something else out. -"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." (Albert Einstein). For a long time I believed I had the best answer.. and it was always the same answer to this specific problem.. BUT, the results never changed till I made a choice to change the action towards the situation.

Closer to the end she states:

And if I mess it up sometimes, nobody's perfect. -Remember you are human. You will occasionally mess up. Don't beat yourself up because of the mistakes you make. As long as you learn from them, there is nothing to be ashamed of. Forgive yourself and move on.


I've been sober for 6 months. Not from alcohol.. but from an addictive drug.. BOYS. It's been 6 months since I've kissed a guy or been kissed by one. 6 months since I've been held by by a guy. 6 months of being sober from a drug I was so heavily addicted to. There are times I still lay on my bed in fetal position and cry.. I miss it. Are there times I pray a random (but handsome) guy would run up to me, wrap me in his arms, and gently kiss me? Heck yes! But I see the prize at the end of this!... Did I just call my future husband a PRIZE? I sure did! I ain't fighting this good fight for nothing. And I ain't running this race for nothing. Sober 6 months! That's half a year! I know it's a sin, but I still have those days where I allow my mind to be consumed by my desperation in this area. I always said I wouldn't be a kissaholic and wouldn't be one of "those" girls. But I was one. I became one because I failed to plan. I always handled situations with guys, the same. a)Hang out with them alone. B)We start doing things I won't mention. C)Then after it's all been done, I say it won't happen again.
But because I never tried another option, like saying "No, I won't be alone with you." I could never win. 6 months ago, I said no more. Since then I've been taking steps that make walking the right path a little easier. For instance, I do not text guys. Period. Why? Because it would be tempting to let them talk dirty to me and that is wrong. I will win this! I stand in victory!

6 Months sober and I sure as hell ain't giving up!